2009-10-21
Honey-n-Vinegar
Several years ago, my friend and I worked with a guy we called "Sensitive Ponytail Man." This guy was well past the age where that kind of hair frippery was any kind of appropriate, for one thing, but I can sometimes forgive this if the wearer in question has a personality that allows me to overlook said hair frippery.
This guy, truth be told, was something of a worm, plain and simple. And his desk was a veritable oxymoronic maelstrom of hair products and "natural" remedies for the constant cold he seemed to be harboring. In other words, he'd load up his lustrous graying mane with stuff that certainly was contributing to ozone depletion, but would not treat his constant hack-hack-hacking with anything he couldn't pronounce. It got to the point where my friend went into his office and stuck a Post-It note on his bottle of Gentle Ben's Olde Timey Slippery-Elm-n-Garlic Tincture that read: "GET SOME REAL FUCKING DRUGS, CROUP BOY."
Now, I myself have a fairly healthy distrust of most drugs, over-the-counter and otherwise. But I will, if desperate enough, break down and get the OTC stuff. When I get a cold, I get it bad, and usually wind up with a post-infectious cough that lasts for weeks and is virtually impervious to any OTC treatment out there. It makes for many sleepless nights and unpleasant mornings.
Last night, I was on Facebook and noticed that my college roommate posted something about the "disgusting" home remedy that her mother always swore by, and how it seemed to be working, and so I asked her about it.
Apple cider vinegar and honey. Equal parts, although I used a tad more vinegar, because I'm sick that way. A couple of tablespoons. Mix it up, hold your nose, and swallow it down.
I'll warn you -- it tastes like the devil's own backside, smells like a dollar store douchebag and burns like cheap whiskey. But I'll tell you -- it WORKS. I had the first decent night's sleep in almost two weeks. I'm coughing a little bit today, but nowhere near as much as I had been.
I swear I'll never resort to cough syrup again. I'm sold.
lisamcc at 11:01 a.m.
5 comments so far
Jess
2009-10-21 22:14:02
THAT'S WHAT I DRINK! Only, I drink it with Grade B Maple Syrup instead of honey... it's better for you than honey, believe it or not. Also, I only use Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar. The cloudy kind. The cloudy kind works better. I try to drink this mixture every day, actually, as it helps to regulate blood sugar and it helps to alkaline the body as well. I am a freak in that I LOVE the taste of vinegar. I love the taste of this mixture.
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Spooney
2009-10-21 22:53:15
"dollar store douchebag"! That, my lady - is pure genius.
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Kellie B
2009-10-22 17:17:26
Well that made me laugh. Remember when sensitive pony-tail man hightailed it to his doctor when he thought his colon was ripped to shreds. It wasn't, it was the beets he had eaten for dinner the night before. Classic.
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LisaMcC
2009-10-22 22:38:27
Ha ha HA! I'd forgotten about that. It amazes me that a) he didn't make the connection, and b) actually ADMITTED this to us.
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Lynette
2009-10-23 04:54:42
My mom's family swears by some similar (but different) vinegar based remedy for GI/stomach flu type things. The cough remedy sounds like I could handle it. I will have to get my family's recipe that they all swear by but that I have - to this day - never tried. Probiotics seem to do ok by me. But this is good to know. Because I had pneumonia multiple times as a baby and, therefore, get every lung ailment that comes down the pike. Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!
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