2009-01-22

Humpy the Bear!

As dawn breaks upon our Brave New World, the stinging brambles we have endured for the past eight years have still left some owies.

We are on a budget, the Houseboy and I. We have been reining in our spending. No more ordering in. More taking advantage of the fact that I generally don't have to pay to see a great many plays in this city. And more purchases of a thrifty, generic nature. To wit:

This here is our store brand version of Frosted Mini Wheats. And they are, I will say, JUST AS TASTY as the "real thing."

But where one really feels slighted when one chooses the store brand over that of the Cereal Juggernaut is in the realm of the Breakfast Mascot. For tasty and economical though they may be, it's hard not to feel as though you're getting the third-rate goods when confronted each morning by a nameless, toque-wearing bear what is straddlin' and dry-humpin' a big ol' bowl o' fake Frosted Mini-Wheats.

It's the breakfast equivalent of buying a Louis Vuitton handbag from a pushcart vendor, only to discover that in place of the little intertwined "L" and "V," there's...uh...a little toque-wearing bear attempting frottage with a bowl of cheap-ass cereal. Fuck you if you don't like my analogy. It's been a long day.

And then imagine what it must be like to be the CREATOR of this not-quite-Sugar-Bear. "You're an illustrator?" the artist is asked at a cocktail party, "Would I have seen any of your work?"

And here our artist blushes hotly before stammering that if the questioner is familiar with the bowl-humping bear on the box of That Which Is Not Frosted Mini-Wheats, then, yes.

lisamcc at 4:20 p.m.



4 comments so far
Toddlington
2009-01-23 00:04:47
Damn you. I'm congested and snotty this week, and I laughed so hard and so unexpectedly that a large, green snotglobby flew from some hole in my face -- not sure which -- and dripped down my laptop screen. Windex is hardly a match for green mucous. But hey, I dig the tightening of the budget belt. I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs, but at $5 a toss, FUUUUCK THAAAAT! So I buy the generic brand that usually comes in a large plastic bag at half the cost. In my household, we call them "Ghetto Puffs."
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PK
2009-01-23 05:22:45
BAHHHHHH! BAH HAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!11
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Spooney
2009-01-23 17:29:51
What PK said...!!
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Tina
2009-01-24 23:25:41
I have been buying generic cereal for my kids for years. The sad part is I have actually bought S&S's version of frosted mini-wheats MANY times and never noticed that the bear was humping the bowl. I'm going to really start looking at the pictures on the generics from now on... Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I will put a black block on horny bear when we buy it again. And we will. It's my and Chloe's favorite.
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