2008-11-26

Turkeys.

A COLD SORE.

Just when I managed to get the Adult Acne Eruption on my chin under control, this happens.

I am going to be nothing short of a scabrous beast-woman at my high school reunion, I'm telling you. I expect to wake up on Saturday morning with a full beard and a third eye.

But I've paid in advance, and the check's been cashed, so I gotta go through with this, facial welts and all. Maybe I'll paint my face green and don a fright wig and show up and be all: "Wait? You mean this wasn't a costume party?"

Kill me. Just kill me now.

Thanksgiving is upon us, and it just plain wouldn't be a day of thanks without the Stupid Gay-Assed Turkeys.

In more polite circles, we just call 'em "Turkey Cookies." But let me tell you, when you're making these at 8 o'clock at night and you find yourself staring at a veritable ARMY of them, you giggle like an idiot and refer to them as "Stupid Gay-Assed Turkeys."

Understand that I am childless, quite by choice. I don't HAVE to make these for a kid's class. I make them for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it's now more or less EXPECTED of me. So-and-so brings the green bean casserole, Auntie Whatserface brings the yams, and I bring the Stupid Gay-Assed Turkeys.

My sister beat me this year in terms of number of Stupid Gay-Assed Turkeys produced. She topped out at 40 last night, and sent me photographic evidence of the output:

Laughed my ass right off. We've been doing these for years now, and it's NEVER NOT FUNNY.

lisamcc at 10:32 a.m.



6 comments so far
Spooney
2008-11-26 19:49:05
I hate candy corn, but I'll eat them anyway, just because it's tradition.
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vikkitikkitavi
2008-11-26 21:50:16
Oh, lord, is that a cherry cordial on top? With candy corn? That is VILE.
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Joanna
2008-11-27 01:26:26
I think they look delicious.
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Jess
2008-11-27 01:40:27
Me too! Put one in my mouth NOW! Why oh why did I pick this time a year to give up sugar??!!
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PK
2008-11-28 01:41:24
Those are unholy.
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Veronika
2008-12-01 19:34:37
I miss getting gay ass turkeys right before thanksgiving...
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