2008-09-21

Oregonian Adventure, Pt. 2

Saturday, Sept. 13th, 2008:
It's Wedding Day. We have made it clear to the Head of the Family Unit that we are NOT going on any adventures today, as none of us want to tool around in our wedding clothes all day, and arrive at the ceremony hating ourselves and each other. So we stick around the hotel. I hit the gym, swim several laps in the pool, read the complimentary "USA Today" that we've been getting in front of our door every morning, and take in the spectacular view of the parking lot.

The rehearsal dinner the night before was lovely. It was held at the Three Rivers Grill, which was chosen by my cousin Mike, who is something of a foodie. They had this amazing flourless chocolate cake, with which my sister became entirely obsessed. So on the way out I wrapped a piece up in a napkin and stuffed it in my purse. I presented it to Tina, who just looked at me in utter gratitude and said: "Duuuuude."

The big drama -- I mean other than the wedding and my insane family -- is that Tina has not been able to poop since she arrived. I can't even imagine. I myself have no such problem. No amount of jet lag or JetBlue-induced travel woes interfere with my morning dump. I make a mental note to add "regularity" to my daily Gratitude List as my sister suffers.

As I'm getting ready at around 3:30, my cellphone buzzes. It's a text message from Tina:

"After reading 'The Little Engine That Could', Senor Poop emerged today, after repeating the Engine's mantra."

A triumph!

Back to Hood River we go, for the Main Event. The reason we're all here. Jeffy's Wedding.

As weddings go, you don't get much better. Brief, to-the-point, yet quite beautiful and touching. Bonus points for the background, too.

My mom sang "Sunrise, Sunset," just as she did at Jeffy's parents' wedding 35 years ago, and everyone just lost it. Because we're a bunch of showtune-loving sentimental CHUMPS, that's why. You WISH your family was that queer.

The reception was fun. The bride and groom decided that there would be none of this clanging-on-the-wineglasses-until-you-smooch thing. No, no. If we wanted a PDA, we had to EARN it. So people had to get up and sing (I told you we're a bunch of queers). There were random outbursts throughout the evening, ranging from "The Grizzly Fight Song", to the theme from "The Love Boat" (Tina and I kicked nine kinds of ass on that one).

I snapped this nice picture of my mom and her sisters. It's really true: there's a bit of each of them in me. They're all out in Montana, and I'm here, but I don't have to spend a lot of time missing them. All I have to do is look in a mirror, or catch myself crossing my eyes when something baffles me, or feel my blood boil when someone suggests that the Republicans have done a fine job. There they are.

But of course I miss them. Of course I do.

lisamcc at 3:01 p.m.

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