2008-04-29
Housecleaning.
PK has this sort of mental housecleaning exercise where she makes a list of things that she either should have said or WISHED she'd have said, but circumstances and/or social niceties prevented her from doing so. No backstory, no names. Just vomit it all up, regardless of how petty or stupid it sounds or how long ago you should have said it, and see if you don't feel a little bit better. To wit:
- It's not an "unstable program." You just have no earthly fucking clue how to use it.
- Your passive-aggressive tactics fool no one, least of all me. I am the QUEEN of passive-aggressive tactics.
- Marijuana isn't "medicinal" if you're smoking it to be less of an asshole. Asshole.
- It remains blown because you blew it the first time.
- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
- Nobody cares how you did things back in London.
- Ha ha. Your dad's in jail. Ha ha ha.
- You can adjust it all you want. You can push it up against the wall, then pull it forward again. You can even dig all the lint out of your belly button. That scale is not going to give you a "better" number, so just stop it.
- My God, you have terrible taste. In everything.
For those of you who know me...no guessing allowed.
lisamcc at
6 comments so far
lj
2008-04-29 18:35:08
This cracked me up so bad..! I thought of my own list on my walk home from work: 1.) fucking asshole 2.) dick 3.) fucking SUV! 4.) Yes, that's right--just because you have a stroller it means you OWN THE SIDEWALK 5.) Having trouble parallel parking? It's because you have a fucking SUV IN BROOKLYN!
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PK
2008-04-30 10:41:21
"Your dad's in jail" is just so brilliantly kindergarten.
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LisaMcC
2008-04-30 11:08:12
PK - sometimes I think I've never really left kindergarten. There are an astonishing number of people who'd agree.
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Houseboy
2008-04-30 14:33:39
Yeah! Get your crayons off the floor, or you won't get any paste for dessert!
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vikkitikkitavi
2008-04-30 19:27:25
Did you know there's a word for this concept? Not so much things you think of in the moment but don't say out of politeness, but things you think of later and wished you'd said. It's in Yiddish, natch. "Trepverte" literally means "stair words," or, I guess, the words you come up as you're climbing the stairs on the way home.
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Lynette
2008-05-19 00:24:16
Bullet #3 is sadly poignant in my life. And on a funny note - I originally typed in my name as "Lynewtte". I'm thinking of legally changing it. It's kind of cute.
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Stumble It!
