2008-03-27

The tour ends here.

I want to say a word or two about BETRAYAL. And also maybe a few words about COMEUPPANCE.

I should also tell you that if you do NOT watch "Rock of Love 2" with the same keen, brutally-appraising eye that I do...1) you probably won't find this nearly as entertaining as -- say -- Jess might, and 2) you are a far better person than I am.

A little bit o' teevee history for you younguns: back in the olden days, t.v. stars were ACTORS (also known as: waiters). Which is to say that they were still OPPORTUNISTS, but generally speaking they also knew a thing or two about the dramatic arts, having perhaps taken a few classes somewhere in New York.

You might recognize the names of some of these aforementioned t.v. stars. Scott Baio. Christopher Knight. Ron Palillo. You recognize them because they are still working on television, thanks to the "reality" genre, where everyone wins, except if you're eliminated, or you leave the house in a huff.

What makes a t.v. star now, in a market saturated with reality programming? Perseverance. Chutzpah. A nice rack. Oh, and maybe one or two reality show "wins" under your belt.

Message boards and blogs were abuzz at the beginning of this season's HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED "Rock of Love 2." Doesn't that Megan skank look...FAMILIAR...somehow?

Can't quite put my finger on it. I KNOW! She's the SAME Megan skank from "Beauty & the Geek 3"!

You...you mean that Megan Hauserman wasn't REALLY the skank-with-the-heart-of-gold who saw people for who they REALLY were, and thus won the $250K prize? You mean to say that she's really just a plain old SKANK?

I'll admit -- I watched "Beauty & the Geek 3." Believe me, I am deeply ashamed. I am ashamed that I recognized Megan from having been on another reality show, and further, I am ashamed that I felt, well, BETRAYED. Because on "Rock of Love 2" she was a mean, stupid bimbo who ripped Peyton's mash notes off of Bret's door and stuffed them under the display case.

I wondered how long it would be before someone called Megan out on this. After all, the "Rock of Love" franchise prizes itself on its near-weekly shots of histrionic skanks with mic packs attached to their thongs accusing one another of "not really being there for BRET." Here was a perfect example, and yet we went 9 episodes before someone said something. And that someone, natch, was HEATHER.

Heather, the skank-with-a-heart-of-gold from Season One, who has REALLY AND TRULY always had Bret's best interests at heart, was brought in to root out the FAKERS like the bleach-blonde truffle hog that she is. With the help of no-way-is-she-only-31 skank Ambre, Megan was eliminated by episode's end.

Sorry, Megan. Your tour ends here. But I hear they're auditioning for "Celebrity Rehab 2."

lisamcc at 8:01 a.m.

4 comments so far
Livie
2008-03-27 13:53:11
whoa, does she have a lazy eye?
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LisaMcC
2008-03-27 14:11:25
Megan? Hadn't noticed. I don't think it's full-on Wonk Eye like Paris Hilton, but you may be right.

Heather, on the other hand, has Perpetual Stink Eye. She always looks like she's thinking about eviscerating someone with her hot-pink, bejeweled talons. I think she's done it, too, a few times. She's DANGEROUS.
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Jess
2008-03-27 21:34:35
I don't care. I LOVE Heather!! I cheered when she walked in. I so want to hang with her.

Pibb & I spend at least several minutes a day saying "I'm here for Brett. Are YOU here for Brett? 'Cause I don't think you're here for Brett. Are THEY here for Brett?"

(pause)

"For Brett!"
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LisaMcC
2008-03-28 14:07:05
I want to be on "Rock of Love 3" just so I can answer, when queried: "No. I'm not here for Bret. I'm here for the bitches."
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