2008-01-05

My Peepers.

I went to the optometrist yesterday and had my first eye exam in, er, at least a couple of years. Ever since the Great Titty Cancer Scare of Summer '07, I have been -- slowly but surely -- dealing with my phobia of All Things Medical and being a goddamn grownup about taking charge of my health.

I liked my new optometrist immediately. She's gruff and no-nonsense and reminds me of my late Aunt Virginia, who had the lowest threshold for bullshit of anyone I know. "You really need to be comin' in AT LEAST once a year, honey, because you've got just about the worst eyesight of anyone I've checked out," she growled, albeit good-naturedly. "I was gonna do a dilation on you now, but I'm gonna wait until you get your new glasses, because - honey - you are basically blind in your right eye, and you're wearing a 4-year-old prescription. I couldn't trust that you'd make it home."

I laughed, nervously.

"You LAUGH, but I'm serious. You need to promise me that you're going to have your eyes examined a HELL of a lot more regularly than you have been. You only got the two of them, sweetheart."

Really. It was SO much like sitting in my parents' summer house, listening to Virginia go off on people who lick their fingers before counting off dollar bills that they're about to hand off to you for change. "YOU don't do that, do you, Lees? Because that's TOTALLY UNSANITARY, dahhling. Money's filthy enough anyway without bringin' someone's SPIT into it. JESUS CHRIST almighty."

So I have to go in and get dilated next month, which is going to be quite unpleasant. But in the meantime, I have these SUPER CUTE FRAMES to look forward to next week:

I'll deal with dilation and lectures if it means that I get to be CUTE.

lisamcc at 11:13 a.m.



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