2007-12-09

The Reason For The Season

In my efforts to "get in the spirit," such as it is, I've spent time in meditation and contemplation. I've spent time reflecting on the past year and my various misdeeds. I have spent time ruminating on redemption and forgiveness and the practice of humility.

It's Christmas, after all, and it's helpful to stop in the middle of it all sometimes and remind yourself of the TRUE MEANING of the holiday. Because it cannot be purchased with a $50 BEST BUY gift card. It is not betwixt the stiff metallic branches of your repro-retro aluminum Christmas tree. It won't be found in regifting that peppermint-scented shower gel/body lotion/bath confetti combo.

I'll let you in on a little secret, chickens.

The REAL reason for the season? Andy Williams.

There are a few things that I will never apologize for. My great love for Andy Williams is one of them. This is no ironic, aging hipster love I bear. This is not: "Oh hahaha aren't I funny liking this old dude and his terrible sweaters and his GIANT WHITE TEEFS." I LOVE ANDY WILLIAMS. I am totally serious.

There is something uber-creepy and yet undeniably sexy about vintage Andy Williams. I completely get what that little minx Claudine Longet saw in him.

Around this time each year, I flip amongst the PBS stations in hope that one of them is playing some of those spectacularly fucking awesome "Andy Williams Christmas Specials." I can't get enough of them, and that is the honest-to-god TRUTH. The sets! The songs! Atheist, Buddhist, Scientologist...if you don't get choked up listening to Andy's rendition of "O Holy Night" I pity you, that's all. That man's voice is like warm runny molasses. Oh yes.

If nothing else, we have Andy Williams to thank for bringing the world The Osmonds.

I want someone to promise me that before Andy Williams goes off to that big sound studio in the sky, I will be blindfolded, stuck on a plane, and transported to Branson, MO and the Andy Williams Moon River Theatre so that I can see his special brand of holiday magic (and his giant teeth) in person. I not kidding about this.

Also, this totally needs to be my Christmas card this year:

lisamcc at 2:13 p.m.

4 comments so far
mumma
2007-12-09 21:45:24
That Christmas card is what is totally creepy to me...look at those pasted smiles on the parents, but look into the eyes of those kids...something was not right...wonder if this was before or after she "offed" Spider. I loved those Christmas shows too until they continued to produce them long after Andy and Claudine were divorced. All that family togetherness was a bit much and that sickening sweet, "It's the Most Wonderful Day of the Year," used to make me gag. I still have flashbacks whenever I hear it today.
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LisaMcC
2007-12-10 07:32:17
I'm guessing then that you and Dad won't be taking me to Branson next Christmas.
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vikkitikkitavi
2007-12-10 14:13:26
Yay, Andy Williams! Spooney knows better than to play me a Xmas mix that doesn't feature at least one Andy Williams song! I have been in love with him ever since I was a kid. His version of "My Coloring Book" still makes me cry. Can't find a video of it, by I did find another gem, "Can't Get Used to Losing You." http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid= -8842929295062280062&q=%22andy+williams% 22&total=857&start=20&num=10&so=0&type= search&plindex=0
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Lynette
2007-12-11 15:13:28
I'm a bit behind, but I'll join you in your appreciation. Personally, his eyes just blow my mind. But in all honesty his voice is stellar. I don't blow vocal praise lightly. He rocks. And last I heard, he still does.
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