2007-12-07

A Place For Neuroses

So it's been a couple of months now since I cut the umbilical cord to MySpace, and I have to say, I really think I'm somewhat of a better person for it (at the very least, let's say that I'm more productive). I really think that one could actually measure my emotional growth from when I hit that "delete my profile" button to now. How one might go about taking such measurements is another story.

With all due respect to you folks that maintain and love your MySpace profiles -- shedding that particularly untidy corner of my internet life was like having a gristly 9lb tumor excised from my colon.

Sometimes, though, I pop in there and have a look around and I think: "Maybe I ought to create a new profile for myself." And maybe I ought to go down to the liquor store, pick out a nice big bottle of bourbon, and then put it AND what's left of my brain on the counter. Might be fun.

The thing is -- I have this dump right here. I've had my big fat virtual ass parked in this spot since October of 1999, before there were any such things as "blogs" and "tag clouds." I have vomited up all KINDS of sordid little tidbits about myself here, and I really didn't need to be sucking it all back up and RE-regurgitating it in a MySpace bulletin (OMG LOL if u dont repost this as "I'M A GIANT ATTENTION WHORE" u will have 3 years of bad luck hehehe). I prefer to keep my waste confined to one internet toilet, thanks.

And I could never quite get past that whole idea of asking your friends if they'll be your friends, and then fretting over whether or not you merit "Top Friends" status. I am 37 years old, and constantly feeling like I'm going to have to eat lunch in my guidance counselor's office all over again is deeply unsettling to me. I've often said that you couldn't pay me enough to relive those years, and yet here I was doing just that, in a sense, and doing it for FREE.

Again, if you're on the MySpace and happy, God bless. But holy crap am I glad to be out of there.

lisamcc at 7:40 p.m.

5 comments so far
Bill
2007-12-09 15:27:39
The worst thing about MySpace is the way it will instantly transport you back to middle school the moment you log in and notice your friend count has dropped by one. Of course, it provides no information on who might have removed you, and you are left to scan your list in a futile attempt to spot the missing name. Facebook is the same way, but at least you don't have to worry about Top Friends and constant chain-bulletins. It's not perfect, but I greatly prefer it to the alternatives. *glances over at the empty ghost town of Friendster*
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LisaMcC
2007-12-09 19:24:59
Oh, I had a Friendster page, too. I jettisoned that after MySpace stuck its tongue in my ear, promising me quicker service, a place in its heart AND on its couch.

And then...meh. I was suddenly no more important to Tom than the lipgloss hoochies and "cougars" posting sparkly fairies and teddy bears in one another's comments sections.

How used I felt.
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Lynette
2007-12-11 15:18:05
Oh I still love my MySpace. I like putting comments on someone's site, hitting refresh and feeling "published". Let me have my little fantasies. Your comment above about "sparkly fairies and teddy bears" made me laugh out loud!! 'Cause, yah, that's so ME. Hahahahaha!
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Jess
2007-12-28 13:48:21
That's funny 'cause that's why I stopped going on "Happy Laughing Chickens". I would post something (that I thought was witty) and the obsessively check to see if anyone responded. When no one did, I would feel horribly hurt. For some reason, I could give a crap about MySpace. I have no idea if I'm on anyone's "Top 8" or whatever. Is there even a way to check that short of going into everyone's page?
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LisaMcC
2007-12-28 13:58:50
I pulled the plug on "Happy Laughing Chickens" because NOBODY went on there anymore and I, too, was taking it way too personally.
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