2007-06-07

Oh, Gordon!

One of the top reasons on my list of "Love To Hate To Love To Hate You, MySpace" - people who make sure to let everyone know how evil television is and how they don't watch it, and yet have a MySpace page.

Personally, I don't watch nearly as much of it as I used to, and not because I feel like it's a more soul-sucking enterprise than teh internets.  The houseboy and I, in an effort to pare down "unnecessary" expenses, shitcanned the cable a couple of years ago.  We get the networks and little else, which has ultimately allowed me to spend more time on rewarding pursuits such as googling ex-boyfriends and girls who were mean to me in grade school.  All told, I've fared quite well without VH-1's "100 Most Embarrassing Moments Involving Someone Else's Vomit."

But summer is upon us, and with it comes a brand new season of easily the most fuckin' entertaining show in the history of television:  Hell's Kitchen.

If you haven't seen this, I pity you.  I mean - I really, really pity you.  Because I had no idea what I was missing until I got sucked into this swirling, burning, televised shitstorm of good food and egregious profanity.  And I dragged the houseboy into it with me.  LAST season, he sat in his office, periodically coming into the living room to make some snarky comment about the goings-on, but by the show's finale, he was riveted.  And he actually MISSED his monthly Democratic Ward Committee meeting this past Monday so he could watch the season premiere.  Oh, yes:  this show is THAT good.

It's no secret among my nearest-and-dearest that I want to make sexytime with soccer-hooligan-turned-Master-Chef Gordon Ramsay.

I'd like to get him alone in the dry pantry with a pastry whisk, boy howdy.  I'm a sucker for the weathered, foul-mouthed ones.  And no one lets loose with a better stream of profanity-laden insults than ol' Gordon.  Every time he refers to one of the contestants as either a "donkey" or a "stupid cow," I make a little puddle.

"You served me...frozen gnocchi?!" he sputtered incredulously on Monday night.  When the humiliated wanna-be chef could only manage a shaky nod by way of affirmation, Ramsay icily dismissed him:  "Get...back...in...line."  And I squealed with glee.

I'm rootin' for little Julia, the Waffle House short order cook, this year.  Girlfriend is getting the cold shoulder from the rest of them because of the whole Waffle House thing, but when the shit hit the fan on Monday night she was the only one who could properly cook them quail eggs.  The houseboy doesn't think she can hack it, but I think she'll last at least few more episodes.  She's got SPUNK, that one. 

lisamcc at 2:22 p.m.

2 comments so far
Honey
2007-06-08 18:43:10
Gordon Ramsay is awesome. Ever see "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare"?
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realchild
2007-06-08 22:38:32
Ramsay is the only chef on the planet to eject critics from his establishment and get away with it. That's just...unheard of. Restaurant people around the world grew an inch that day. The guy's got balls.
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