2006-10-10
Stink
I have this tendency to disregard the tastes of my companions in favor of just running off at the mouth because I find myself so enormously entertaining. Like, I'll start in on how much I HATE a cappella groups, right, and work myself into a near-foaming tirade when someone will blurt out, aghast, "I was in my college's a cappella group and those were the BEST FOUR YEARS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE."
And then I feel bad. And then I think, "Really? The BEST four years of your life?" And then I feel bad again.
(And then sometimes I'll confess that I was in a madrigal choir in high school, so any disparaging remarks I make in regards to someone else's terrible dark secret must needs always be taken with a huge bag of rock salt. That depends on if I like the person I've just inadvertently insulted.)
So - with this all being said, I'm going to spew for a moment, and I'll probably insult at least two or three people in the process, and what can I say. Don't read any further if you like Sting, or Renaissance Faires, or both.
So I caught the end of the "Today" show this morning, and lo - there was Sting, wearing a burlap peasant jerkin or something very rather like one, looking like some kind of Renaissance Faire-attendin', mead-drinkin', role-playin' dink, warbling songs whilst accompanied by some guy with a lute.
As it turns out, ol' Gordon has a new rekkid called (swear to God) "Songs From the Labyrinth," a collection of Elizabethan-era ditties.
I mean, if it had been ANYBODY ELSE at that level of popularity, I would've been like, "Oh, cool...good for them." As it stands, my immediate reaction is: "Here once again is Stink letting us all know how edumacated he is." What with translating The Iliad from Greek to Middle English to Portuguese and then BACK to Greek, in between 12-hour bouts of Tantric sex with Trudie (during which he mentally wrote another 9 songs referencing Nabokov), he has found time to bring music from the late sixteenth-century to us ignorant plebes. Oh THANK YA, Mr. Sting, THANK YA.
So is he a music preservationist, or just a pretentious douchebag? By God, I just can't decide.
I don't know. I just hate him a lot, for some reason. Love The Police. LOVE them. But I wanna punch Stink in the head.
And before any Sting fans - who've likely stumbled across this site by Googling "Sting + jerkin" - decide to let me have it, so to speak, I'll just take care of it all for you:
Yes, I am a bitch.
Yes, I probably need to get laid, and I will never get laid by Sting, which is why I am such a bitch.
Yes, I am most assuredly jealous because Sting is awsum (sic) and I can only dream about being as famous and wonderfull (sic) as he is.
Did I ever mention that I was in a madrigal choir in high school?
lisamcc at 8:22 p.m.
6 comments so far
vikkitikkitavi
2006-10-11 15:22:32
I think he's doing it on a dare.
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buzzgirl
2006-10-11 18:51:14
I hear ya. I had a variation of this conversation in 2000. I was in a bar with a friend when Sting's "Desert Rose" came on. I was like, "What the fuck is this tripe?!" I was (am) dumbfounded at how much I love, love, LOVE The Police, and yet how much I hate Sting.
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A Green
2006-10-12 08:08:59
this entry made me laugh out loud!
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Houseboy
2006-10-12 10:36:35
About 13 years ago a friend-of-a-friend was breaking into the management/promotional side of the music biz. I used to greet her with "Hey, Liz, what's new in the music world?" One time I recall her looking at me wearily and saying, "Sting. Can you fucking believe it? It's 1993 and STING is what's 'new' in the music biz." I would imagine Liz is either out of the music biz now, or is ready to shoot herself.
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djd
2006-10-26 13:53:54
El Griiiiiillo, el grillo es buon cantore que ?? ??ehhhhhhhhhhhrto. Dalle dalle beve beve grillo grillo canto... [Pardon the misspelled Portuguese.]
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Tina
2006-10-31 20:42:06
Yawn. You realize it's almost November 1st?
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Stumble It!
