2003-12-26

On vulgarity

I got slammed on The Noise Board the other day, ostensibly because this diary is all about "me me me me me me me me me..." and that I should perhaps take a break from my self-absorption and write about starving children in Africa or something. The anonymous detractor went on to say that because I am such a narcissistic little spore, he/she has to "skip over entries all the friggin' time." This in turn reminded me of the youngster who kept signing my guestbook under a number of different monikers informing me that I was really boring and upbraiding me for my "bad" language. My goodness, chickens, why on earth do they keep visiting if they find it so upsetting?

I fully cop to the fact that my locution borders on coprolalia at times, and I often suspect that people who don't know me perhaps think me a very nasty young woman indeed, based on my interactions with some of my closer friends, as I am given to affixing rather inappropriate terms of endearment to those I am fond of.

I come from a long line of potty-mouthed women. My maternal grandmother is rumored to have known a great many filthy ditties, and could be fairly easily persuaded to sing these, accompanying herself on guitar, at parties. I have never once heard my father utter an expletive any more explosive than "dammit," but my mother can draw out the f-word like a sustained note. This is not to say that my mother is an inarticulate woman; she uses these words sparingly. She is the Monet of swearing, whereas I consider myself more of a Pollock.

I used to wonder sometimes if I was indeed just thoroughly unladylike, until I met Paula, and discovered a kindred spirit in all things, not the least of which is a wicked delight in obliquity and crassness. Girlfriend has a face like a porcelain doll and a mouth like a stevedore. Not long ago, we came up with a term to describe the practice of wearing fishnet stockings sans underwear, which we unveiled to our friend Declan, who deemed it, in his droll British accent, "Ab-so-lute-ly dis-gus-ting," as his eyes shone in appreciation and admiration.

Certainly there are still going to be those who read this diary and believe, as I have often heard from myriad professors and acquaintances appalled at my language, that vulgarity is a cornerstone of dialectal laziness.

I've only one thing to say: bite me.

lisamcc at 10:20 a.m.

11 comments so far
grouse
2003-12-26 14:43:39
"a term to describe the practice of wearing fishnet stockings sans underwear".. you brag about it, but then don't even share. Now _that_ is absolutely disgusting!
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Lisa
2003-12-27 00:30:48
My dear grouse, to reveal this term would be to negate the whole exercise in *not* uttering a single naughty word in that entire entry, y'see? I will tell you that it does involve the word "waffle." If you need to know the rest, you will just have to email me, cheeky monkey.
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hayley
2003-12-27 14:11:02
hey arent diaries suppost to be allllll about u? uh oh im screwd then! i like ur lil cartoon thing too.
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Andy
2003-12-29 06:37:38
Tell us the word. Tellusthewordtellusthewordtellustheword!
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insanius
2003-12-29 20:52:33
Your banner caughtmy eye, so I clicked and found myself amused. Fuck! I fully support your colorful vernacular. Thanks for the smile! Ciao!
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Tvox
2003-12-29 21:21:48
Who CARES if your diary is all about you! Its your DIARY! I swear, some people are dumb ;)
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cubegirl
2003-12-30 00:27:42
OHMYGOD! It's YOUR JOURNAL! of course it's going to be about you. I hate SO MANY PEOPLE. It annoys me to have to loathe anonymous people now.
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dodo
2003-12-30 08:49:12
well, me, I always like your diary. But then, I swear like a sailor myself!
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lilybow
2003-12-30 15:44:45
i too am a potty mouth, goddammit!! fuck 'em if they cant take a joke!!
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Declan
2004-01-02 16:33:13
Cunt waffle...YAY!!!!!
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worldgurl
2004-01-06 01:46:16
I was like, hmm...whats the word, and then I was gonna leave you a comment to tell me the word (like via email or some shit) and then I read on and realized I wasn't the only one who wanted to know the word, and then you said it started with waffle and I was like...Cunt, or perhaps twat-waffle? Hmm...and then I read on even further and declan says it's cunt-waffle. I guessed cunt or twat. I was close. So, thanks to you I will never see fishnets in the same light again. Thanks. Cunt waffle. He heeee. Your diary is sheer entertainment sometimes.
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