2003-02-10

First Communion Moment

My sister-in-law recently told me a story about her kids, two of the approximately 97 nieces that the houseboy and I share. Kiki just turned six; Randa is a few months shy of three. At any rate, the story goes that Kiki had some kind of pin on letting folks know it was her birthday, so naturally she was asked about this by several passers-by, much to the consternation of Randa, who couldn't quite deal with the fact that she was not getting attention:

Random Stranger: "Oh, it's your birthday? How old are you?"

Kiki: "I'm six."

Randa: "I'm two!"

Random Stranger: "Wow. Six, huh? Pretty cool..."

Kiki: "Uh huh."

Randa: "I'm TWO!"

These little tales of sibling discord have a name: "First Communion Moments," coined by my brother, in reference to a day � many years back � that lives in infamy, primarily because we won't allow my mother to forget it. We call this "Baiting Betty." When we're all over at the house, it happens something like this: wait until Betty has had her one glass of Chardonnay, and then attack.

"Hey, Ma - �member Lisa's First Communion?"

My First Holy Communion was quite an event. I got the big party with the doll cake,, the little white prayer book, wore my ma's wedding veil under a wreath of daisies, all 406 of my cousins at the house afterwards....I mean, the whole nine yards. The festive atmosphere, with me as its daisy-bedecked centerpiece, proved to be a bit much for my sister, all of five years old at the time. My mother was so busy with preparing the party, and turning her otherwise grubby urchin of an elder daughter into a pup-perfect portrait of a little Bride of Christ, that she took no notice of Tina's abject despair.

Tina might have silently sat on this for years � indeed � may even have forgotten about it altogether, if not for the fact that one solitary photograph exists which perfectly captures the moment for all time. The three of us are standing at the front of the house, me in all my finery, beaming beatifically in my best attempt to look holy. My brother is squinting groggily at the camera � he's 15 years old and it's stupid o'clock in the morning. But Tina. Tina's in her Holly Hobbie dress and blue car coat, slumped against the house with the most pained, miserable look on her little face.

"Ma, you still got that picture from Lisa's First Communion?"

"Yeah! Let's see that picture!"

It truly is, depending on your take on the situation, either the most hilarious or most heartbreaking thing you'll ever see.

"That's horrible. That picture makes me want to cry."

"Jesus, Ma. How could you not have noticed how miserable Tina was?"

"And then you take a picture of it to boot...."

"Unbelievable."

Secretly, though, I think Betty enjoys it. It's an Irish thing.

lisamcc at 11:41 a.m.

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