2001-10-16

A frickin' dynasty, dude...

For all my kvetching to Kev, I really do enjoy being in a band. Or maybe, more to the point, I enjoy being in my band. I really couldn�t ask for a more inherently fucked-up and entertaining group of people to spend my time with.

In the last 2 years or so, it seems like the whole being-in-this-band thing has been stepped up to new levels of absurdity. I find it hard to believe that the circumstances I find myself thrust into on a near-weekly basis would exist were I a member of some other, �normal� band. Maybe I�m wrong. Maybe just the mere act of playing in a band, any band, invites all kinds of insanity.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, sitting in the space with Tom and Roland, with a completely disarming sonic background (one of the Dropkick Murphys down the hall playing �America the Beautiful� on the bagpipes), having the following conversation:

Roland: �For my money, Salma Hayek has a better ass than J-Lo.�

Tom: �No way. No fuckin� way.�

Me: �Mn. No, I�d have to say Roland�s right, there...�

Tom: �No way.�

Roland: �Bro, J-Lo done run her ass right off. Right tha fuck off. It�s nowhere near as...as...BAM! You know? As it used to be.�

Me: �OK, OK, so I�m thinking: Mariah Carey. Dude. She�s messed up.�

Roland: �Don�t matter to me. I would still cut off this finger, here �� (holds up right index finger) �� right up to this knuckle, for an hour with Mariah.�

Me: �Really.�

Tom: �Catherine Zeta Jones...�

Me: �Oh, she�s beautiful, don�t you think? She�s too beautiful...�

Tom: �Well, �til she opens her mouth.�

Me: �What? What are you talking about? I like Catherine Zeta Jones!�

Tom: �She bugs me.�

Me: �Catherine Zeta Jones rules, okay? She�s bringing more Douglases into the world. More cleft-chinned, bug-eyed Douglases. But they�re Welsh, too. Half-Welsh cleft-chinned bug-eyed Douglases. It�s a frickin� dynasty, dude....it�s��

Roland: �I take that back; I�d need at least three hours with Mariah...�

lisamcc at 12:56 p.m.

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