2001-07-03

True Wuv

Sheesh. All of these amazing romances blossoming all around me. She's coming here to be with him. She's come here to be with her. My sister's getting married. Love is in the air this summer, chickens.

Me, I've figured out this whole True Love� thing. It's 5+ years with the houseboy, who pretends not to notice when I'm picking my nose � I mean really digging up in there and mining for some quality Nose Goblins�. Likewise, I try not to notice when he does his nightly ritual of smelling the underside of his watchband.

Here's a story from TrueLoveLand:

I walk into the kitchen to refresh my tasty Adult Beverage�, when all of sudden Kev lunges towards the window overlooking the back porch. "Hey! HEY!! I SEE you out there!"

"Hon, who are you - -"

"Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU, buddy!"

"WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!"

"There's a squirrel on the barbecue grill! He's eating the charcoal! That does it..." Kev reaches under the kitchen table, where the cat, Whitey, has been sleeping because of the recent heat wave. He drags her out from under the table and sticks her in the window. "Look, Whitey! A SQUIRREL! Scare it away!"

Whitey mewls in groggy protest, looks up at him as if to say, "You woke me up for this?" She jumps off the windowsill and crawls back under the table.

Kev is outraged. "Did you see that?! She didn't even look at it!"

"She was asleep, hon. Like your eyes would be completely focused if I dragged you out of bed by the scruff of your neck to watch a...a...charcoal-eating squirrel..."

"Yeah, well...don't think I won't remember this come dinner time, Whitey..."

That, my friends, is True Love�.

lisamcc at 11:50 a.m.

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