2000-09-25

Metamucil Margaritas

There were these two women, Lauren & Leslie, friends of Irene's from college, who'd both recently gone through messy divorces. Out of necessity, and a need to commiserate, Lauren and Leslie took up residence together in a rented house on Strand Avenue (Irene would later refer to it as "Stranded Avenue," because that's the kind of girl Irene is. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be as good a friend of mine as she is.).

Lauren and Leslie, once slim, carefully-coiffed Southern-deb-types, quickly went to fat on their steady diet of pizza, Jack-in-the-Box, and alcohol (although their hair was as carefully-coiffed as ever). Irene, while certainly no tee-totaller, frequently lectured the pair on their unhealthy eating habits: "Y'all need more fiber in your diets."

(It must be noted that Irene is a big Fiber Advocate, firm in her belief that regular bowel movements are the Key to Optimal Health. To that end, she is continually pushing fruit and roasted soybeans at me, as my own diet is rather heavy on the carbohydrate side.)

Things plodded on as usual, with Lauren and Leslie holding court at their digs on Stranded Avenue, when Irene received a call from the ladies one evening, inviting her to come over for a spell: "We're making frozen margaritas!"

Irene arrived at the house and was warmly greeted by the carefully-coiffed Leslie, who handed her a fresh frozen margarita and beamed as she announced, "Oh, Irene, you are gonna be so proud of us. Me an' Lauren found a way to get more fiber in our diets!"

Irene accepted the proffered beverage and took a long sip. "That's wonderful, Leslie."

"I know," Leslie raised her own frozen margarita and studied it, "You can't hardly notice the Metamucil when you make the margaritas frozen."

lisamcc at 15:57:21

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